Sucking Snot

Are you curious? Yes, it actually is as gross as it sounds. Zoe woke up about 6 times last night, but in never more than a few cries later, she was asleep again..or at least quiet. I discovered why she had been waking up this morning when at 8:30 I went in to get her. She could barely breathe for all of the congestion and, well, to be blunt, snot clogging her airways. It must have just bothered her those times during the night and it just took her a while to readjust.

I couldn't help but think each of those times at 1, 2:30, 3......4........yada yada yada, "why is she continuously waking up?". The selfish side of me who just wanted the sleep I so desperately needed waited to make sure she wasn't either screaming in pain or really in need of mommy's cuddling, either of which I would have been in there in a heartbeat despite my lack of sleep. We learned early on that she sometimes cries out in her sleep and that usually within 30 seconds, she's stopped again. Fortunately, all of these wake-ups were that kind...just 10 seconds here, 2 cries there, etc. But still, I knew that with her waking so many times, she would be groggy the next day b/c she didn't stay in her REM sleep for very long. Yay me...

So the morning routine began. Change her 5 pound full of pee diaper...check. I should really do an experiment and weigh her diapers in the morning...they're so full! And especially this morning's which contained the almost 16 ounces of water that she had late in the afternoon (toddler temporarily turned camel). So this mornings actually soaked all the way through the diaper and onto her clothes...YUCK! Get her in fresh clothes that don't have pee smells and stains on them...check! Feed her oatmeal...check. Give her a plate of fruit...well this is where the problems began. She was given pineapple this morning. The first piece alone took her about 2 minutes to eat. Now she's a turtle-like eater, but this was beyond turtle. This was more slug like. Bless her heart heart, she couldn't breathe to eat. So she would take a quick breath with her mouth and then chew chew chew. Another quick breath followed by chew chew chew. LOOOONG process.

So here's where the sucking snot part comes in. About this time, I go dig out our blue snot sucker...I think it's called an aspirator, but I like the name snot sucker much better. It's just catchier. Anyway...I take her plate of pineapple from her and took her out of her highchair, which didn't seem to bother her considering she was still on her first piece. Wow..and only 20 more to go! She unfortunately hates....no loathes that sucker. But on mornings like this, it's a must. So I became the mean mommy who held her daughter down with her 5 arms (I wish) so that she could suck snot.

Now here's where it gets really weird. God used this moment this morning to teach me something, or rather to reveal something to me. Was it that I shouldn't suck snot out of a 13 month old? No, though watching my squirming and now red in the face shrieking daughter, I wish that was His lesson. No...he decided to relate that moment in time of pure squirminess, kicking, hollering, and crying to what we do to Him sometimes. He has us in his arms, yet He's having to literally hold us down to do what he wants to do. Now I know that without us truly following Him, He won't make us do something...it has to be us that takes that step of faith. However, the battle that we often fight in getting the courage to take that step is like what Zoe was doing when I was wrestling her. He knows that what he's trying to do will be a good thing; something that will bless us. But it's the getting there, the wrestling match that often occurs before we allow Him to work that often keeps His best from us.

So the next question is this..."God, what is it that I'm wrestling you on? What do I need to learn from this moment of insanity?" Right now, I don't know, but hopefully now that I'm fully aware that I may very well be doing to Him what Zoe did to me this morning, He will reveal that to me.