People say it'll be the day pigs fly, but swine flu!

So today was the day for the mass clinic in our area. The rec center was open form 7-5:30 today. I thought, "oh...we'll get there shortly after 7 and beat the crowds since they're offering school clinics in a few weeks." I'd heard that they only had 60 H1N1 vaccines and I wanted to make sure we got them. Boy was I wrong...no lazy people in Arkadelphia at 7...or apparently at 6 when they started coming for that matter.

6:55 - drag kids out of bed, get them dressed, and whisk them to the car.

7:10 - pull up in front of the rec center only to see a full parking lot and cars zooming around like ants in an ant bed that has just been stepped on. I told Darin to go on to work. There was zero chance he'd be done and back at work in time for his 8:00 class. So there was me + 2 kids. Oh, and did I mention that it was pouring rain? Yeah - started just as I got out of the car. And did I mention that the only parking spot I could find was at the back end of the parking lot? And did I mention that I have a two year old that walks about as fast as a turtle on speed?

7:25 - enter building. Let me describe the picture here. I get up to the door while it's still pouring. I have a huge stroller where my baby is nice and dry because he's all covered up. I have a two year old who I've instructed to hold onto the stroller while we walk and not to let go. And I have myself trying to hold onto the stroller, my child, AND an umbrella. So my three hands are all taken up. Seeing my vulnerable state, two ladies hurried in front of me as I approached the door. They opened the door, went in, and....let the door slam. In my face. Nice. What sweet people we have here in Arkanotnice. Someone was thoughtful enough to rush past me and open it up so we could pass through.

7:30: Get forms to fill out. Fill out one for both Zoe and Ethan. Realize I was a dummy and left my insurance card in the car. All the way across the parking lot. In the rain. As I got to the line to turn paperwork in, I begged the lady not to make me go back to my car to get it. I was about to get on my hands and knees to beg when I heard an "It's ok, dear. We'll let you slide". Thank you!!! So VERY much! You are my best friend at this moment.

7:35: Begin the Looooooonnnnnnngggg wait in line. We're shooed to the back of the line - the line for the screamers...I mean children. Keep in mind I hadn't told Zoe at this point why we were here. We get closer and closer. A 10 year old had to be held down by three people right in front of us for the first shot. And for the second. His 4 year old brother had to be held down for the first shot. And the second. Zoe by this point was wondering why we were here.

8:10: Our turn. I realize that this is the moment where I have to get off the fence and decide to get the H1N1 vaccine or not. I decide once and for all to get one for them. I find out that Ethan can't get either shot. He's not 6 months yet. He has 3 days to go. Grrrr!!! There are no shots anywhere in the city - flu or H1N1.

8:12: Hold Zoe in my lap and pull her britches down for all to see. Just before she gets stuck, I tell her to look at me and tell her why we're here. With wide eyes that are now forming tears, she says, "No. Please mama. Nooooo." I hug her close holding her arms and legs down with two arms. Stick one. Tears. Screams. Switch sides. Repeat. More tears...from Zoe too. More screams.

8:13: It's over. I'm left with a screaming child who is now in pain and hungry...and another child who is not screaming yet, but who will be if I don't get some milk into his belly in the next 3 minutes and 7 seconds. Oh. And another trek out across the parking lot in the still pouring rain, this time with a child who doesn't want to walk....and a baby in a stroller...and an umbrella. Fun times.

8:25: Pull into driveway soaked and grumbling because we still have an unvaccinated child.

All in all, I have to say that we had a decently pleasant experience. Zoe did fantastic. No whining at all on her part. Ethan was happy in his stroller talking to himself. I can't say it could have been much better...except for the rain of course.

So a joke to end your reading. For a normal flu, we say "achoo", but for swine flu we say "achoink".